Time flies!

  I cannot believe our little man is almost 5 weeks old!!! It has been a whirlwind! When we got home from the hospital, there were so many emotions...by Saturday (after getting home on Thursday), I was exhausted and still in quite a bit of pain. All of a sudden Saturday night, the "baby blues", or so I thought, set in. When everyone had finally left, except my mom, I told Ben to meet me in the bathroom after getting the mail, and I cried for what seemed like forever. I was not prepared for that. My mom watched Lincoln until it was time for him to eat so I could sleep some. We had to take her to the train station to go home the next morning. More tears. Tons of anxiety...not that I could not handle being a mom, but fear of Ben going back to work and leaving me. I had thoughts of him not wanting to be with me anymore, and fears that I would lose him, either to someone else or that he would get into a wreck and be killed. Completely irrational!!!
   When my mom left, I had Ben call his mom to see if she would come help us. I thought I was going to be super mom when I came home, and would not need any help! ha!!! By the time she got there, I was a total mess. I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, and it was all I could do just to feed Lincoln. My heart just broke.
   I called the doctor Monday just to make sure I was doing everything I needed to do to get past these emotions. When I explained everything, she told me they thought I had post pardum depression. It was a new mix of emotions...I was glad to know there was something they could do to help, but completely devastated that I was diagnosed as being depressed. This was supposed to be the happiest time of my life! I was put on meds that day, and within a week, felt so much better! I am still taking a very small dose, but am hoping they will begin to ween my off next week!
   Ben has been amazing! He switched sides of the bed with me so that he could help more with Lincoln. I have come to the office with him everyday, just because the thought of being alone at home with Lincoln was overwhelming. He helps with bath time every night, and stays up with me until after the 11pm feeding. I could not ask for a better husband!!!
   Tomorrow will be our first day to send daddy off to work:( I am looking forward to getting laundry done and hopefully a nap! Lincoln is so incredibly wonderful! I would just lay with him all day if he would sleep that long:)