So living in the south typically provides little excitement as far as winter weather goes. The spring is full of tornadoes, hail, heavy downpours, etc. but the winter has always been kinda lame...until now! We missed the big snow/ice storm over Christmas, but we are ready to hunker down for the one coming on Thursday! We will hit the grocery store this afternoon and I will stay home tomorrow morning to make sure the house and laundry is clean before we potentially lose power. Who wants to stay in a dirty, stinky (only stinky because of a teenage boy) house for days???
Ben is super excited about the storm. He makes me laugh as he switches from one station to the next, trying to determine which meteorologist will be correct:) He is too cute!!!
Daniel's mom has decided to take him to his aunts house tomorrow, which means it will be me and the hubs, alone, braving this wonderful storm together:) So glad we bought logs for the fireplace!!!
There is a downside to the storm that will force us to stay in our pj's for days, snuggled under blankets on the couch, watching our DVR recordings...my niece has her 1 year birthday party in Texas on Saturday. 2 of my senior girls were going to stay the night Friday, get up early Sat, drive to the party, the drive home that afternoon. Of course the drive home was going to be full...a stop at Sam Moon, shopping at the outlet mall in Gainesville, and of course TACO CASA!!! It looks like I will miss my niece's party and the fun that would accompany:(
We have a busy month ahead though, so maybe God knows we need this weekend just to ourselves! We have a D-NOW the first weekend in Feb...we are hoping for 100 students! We have plans to eat out with friends at the Melting Pot the following Friday (for V-Day)! The next Wed., Ben will be going to a conference in Grapevine, TX...I'm totally stressing about this! We have never spent the night apart...yes, we have been to camps and slept on different sides of a cabin, but never in a different location! I think I will go stay with my parent while he is at the conference...I'm hoping he can at least ride back with me on Friday:) Of course after this, we have the dreaded surgery to face. As I was driving yesterday, I was listening to the song "Inside Out" and started to cry.
The words say "Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades. Never ending, your glory goes beyond all fame, and the cry of my heart is to bring You praise, from the inside out, Lord my soul cries out"...This song is so true, but one I often forget. No matter what happens with the baby situation, I want to bring God praise! He has His reasons for what we are going through, and while I don't understand, He only has our best interest at heart!!!
God bless you today!
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
chick-fil-a sadness
Usually Chick-fil-a is a place filled with yummy chicken, sweet and spicy sauces, and big smiles on our faces. Today, however, it was just filled with sadness, at least for me.
As we sat at our normal high top table, (Lillian, the baby I babysit, next to me), I looked out the window, only to see this cute pregnant lady walking into the restaurant. Now if I had seen this during the two week wait, I would have thought, "Oh, I wonder where she go that cute top?" or "My belly may be that round in a few months!". Instead, I cried. Ben said I should write about my feelings. I feel silly writing this because if there is an other infertile reading this, you have probably done the same thing. I feel repetitive. Month after month, I cry, I get angry, I get sad, I feel jealous, and then I move on for a while.
I think today was especially difficult because just since Monday, I have had 6, yes 6! people announce their pregnancy. These are not strangers, but people I know and am truly happy for! I always feel like just a jerk being so upset and crying when I find these things out, but for those who know me, you know that they are both tears of joy for you and also tears of longing for me.
I hope today's experience does not cause me to avoid Chick-fil-a, as I really do love their food! Here's wishing all you soon-to-be-mommies a super easy, healthy pregnance with the most awesome bundle of joy in 8 or 9 months!!! And to the infertiles, don't give up! Easier said than done, I know.
As we sat at our normal high top table, (Lillian, the baby I babysit, next to me), I looked out the window, only to see this cute pregnant lady walking into the restaurant. Now if I had seen this during the two week wait, I would have thought, "Oh, I wonder where she go that cute top?" or "My belly may be that round in a few months!". Instead, I cried. Ben said I should write about my feelings. I feel silly writing this because if there is an other infertile reading this, you have probably done the same thing. I feel repetitive. Month after month, I cry, I get angry, I get sad, I feel jealous, and then I move on for a while.
I think today was especially difficult because just since Monday, I have had 6, yes 6! people announce their pregnancy. These are not strangers, but people I know and am truly happy for! I always feel like just a jerk being so upset and crying when I find these things out, but for those who know me, you know that they are both tears of joy for you and also tears of longing for me.
I hope today's experience does not cause me to avoid Chick-fil-a, as I really do love their food! Here's wishing all you soon-to-be-mommies a super easy, healthy pregnance with the most awesome bundle of joy in 8 or 9 months!!! And to the infertiles, don't give up! Easier said than done, I know.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Things I am either too unsophisticated or not quite "cool" enough for...
I have discovered a few things about myself this past weekend! I am so NOT a sophisticated lady...this makes me a tad bummed, but is also pretty humorous how this new found knowledge came about.
It all started last weekend when Daniel moved in with us. After only one night of 2 boys in my house, I needed to do something girly. So, on Saturday, I went to get my nails done! I walked in (as I had many times in the past) and said, "I need a manicure". After a moment, they took me to a seat and began to soak my nails in warm, soapy water. Now for you ladies who are sophisticated, you know that I should have walked in and said "I need a full set." I will attribute my ignorance to being very distracted by our new housemate. After a few moments, I told the girl how much I liked her nails (which were tippped) and that I wanted mine to look like hers. I was hoping this would prompt her to say "Oh, you want tips?", but it did not. We get to the part where she oils my nails and I go to wash. I sit back down and ask, "So do you just use the gel on my real nail instead of using tips?" She looked at me very puzzled, and it was downhill from there. I was almost in tears, feeling so stupid!
Well, I got my tips! So I'm feeling ok at this point...still a little dumb, but much more self confident! I make it all the way to Monday before my thumb nail popped right off! I was walking the dog with a friend and Barker, our usually sweet dachshund/jack russell mix, was a living terror. As I was pushing the button to lock his leash, my nail got caught and I watched it fly off my finger, through the air, and land on the red mud stained street. UTTER FRUSTRATION! I decided that I would quickly get it fixed and move on with life.
Then yesterday rolls around...the weekend had been horrible, with me and Ben both feeling the pressures of having a third body in our house to care for (other than Barker). Getting ready for church was a nightmare! Nothing would fit me, I felt like I looked hideous in every outfit I put on, and I was exhausted. I finally found a pair of pants that I could pin, that didn't look half bad. When I was finishing up, I hear Ben start gagging. Daniel comes into our room holding Barker and I, not so kindly, said "put him away, we are so late!" He goes on to tell me that Barker had pooped in his kennel. GREAT!!! So after Ben and Daniel left for church, I was left to clean up the mess. It was during this that yet another nail popped off. So picture this:me in my Sunday best, on my knees covered in poop, nailless, and in tears on the kitchen floor.
My conclusion: I am DEFINITELY NOT sophisticated enough for nails! If I were, I'd have a dog walker, a dog cleaner-upper, and someone to pick out my clothes!
More on this subject later...I'm sure I have bored you enough for now;)
It all started last weekend when Daniel moved in with us. After only one night of 2 boys in my house, I needed to do something girly. So, on Saturday, I went to get my nails done! I walked in (as I had many times in the past) and said, "I need a manicure". After a moment, they took me to a seat and began to soak my nails in warm, soapy water. Now for you ladies who are sophisticated, you know that I should have walked in and said "I need a full set." I will attribute my ignorance to being very distracted by our new housemate. After a few moments, I told the girl how much I liked her nails (which were tippped) and that I wanted mine to look like hers. I was hoping this would prompt her to say "Oh, you want tips?", but it did not. We get to the part where she oils my nails and I go to wash. I sit back down and ask, "So do you just use the gel on my real nail instead of using tips?" She looked at me very puzzled, and it was downhill from there. I was almost in tears, feeling so stupid!
Well, I got my tips! So I'm feeling ok at this point...still a little dumb, but much more self confident! I make it all the way to Monday before my thumb nail popped right off! I was walking the dog with a friend and Barker, our usually sweet dachshund/jack russell mix, was a living terror. As I was pushing the button to lock his leash, my nail got caught and I watched it fly off my finger, through the air, and land on the red mud stained street. UTTER FRUSTRATION! I decided that I would quickly get it fixed and move on with life.
Then yesterday rolls around...the weekend had been horrible, with me and Ben both feeling the pressures of having a third body in our house to care for (other than Barker). Getting ready for church was a nightmare! Nothing would fit me, I felt like I looked hideous in every outfit I put on, and I was exhausted. I finally found a pair of pants that I could pin, that didn't look half bad. When I was finishing up, I hear Ben start gagging. Daniel comes into our room holding Barker and I, not so kindly, said "put him away, we are so late!" He goes on to tell me that Barker had pooped in his kennel. GREAT!!! So after Ben and Daniel left for church, I was left to clean up the mess. It was during this that yet another nail popped off. So picture this:me in my Sunday best, on my knees covered in poop, nailless, and in tears on the kitchen floor.
My conclusion: I am DEFINITELY NOT sophisticated enough for nails! If I were, I'd have a dog walker, a dog cleaner-upper, and someone to pick out my clothes!
More on this subject later...I'm sure I have bored you enough for now;)
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
puppy shower
Well, things are super busy around here! Ben was blessed to get to speak at a good friends D-Now last weekend...it was a blessing both financially and just to see friends! We got home late Saturday, then had to be at church at 7:45 the next morning. We also started revival which ends this Wednesday...as soon as we finish Wednesday, Ben and I head to QSBC to set up for the Oklahoma Youth Ministry Forum (Ben is on the work group for this). We have to be there super early on Thursday to get things started, but it will be fun! We have so many friends coming this year, and they have a special pampering time just for the wives on Friday!!
So in the midst of all the craziness, we have some dear friends at church who, this past Sunday, threw us a shower for our puppy...strange, a little, but so sweet:) When we got to the restaurant, we just assumed it was to celebrate Claires (one of our students) 16th B-day! Then someone yelled surprise to us...it was shocking but still so fun! For a brief period of time, I was not consumed with the fact that we do not have a baby that only has 2 legs:)
We do love Barker so much and would not trade him for anything! There is nothing sweeter than when he curls up in our lap while we sit on the couch to watch TV. In the morning, he seems to tire pretty quickly. As we are getting ready for work, he will start to whimper letting us know it's time to sit down so he can come cuddle! I know I will love my own child more, but right now, I think about Barker all the time. I worry and hope that he sleeps while we are not there so he does not miss us too much...I wonder if he knows how much we love him...I wonder if he knows that he has filled part of this void that we so often feel!
We have talked more and more about the possibility of adoption. We are not making any hasty decisions though. We will get through the rest of the doc appointments this year, then see where it all takes us. This is a rough and sometimes heartbreaking journey, but I would not want to be on it with anyone other than Ben. I know it was no mistake that God brought us together. Only Ben could handle all of my crazy emotions and crying spells when there seems to be no reason!
Thank you God for this journey. You call us to praise you in our trials so that is what I will do! I know you have the absolute best plan for our lives and I know that our human nature too many times tries to mess it up. Thank you for alwasy reminding us of the ways you have been faithful in the past. It gives us hope for the future!
God bless you all today!
So in the midst of all the craziness, we have some dear friends at church who, this past Sunday, threw us a shower for our puppy...strange, a little, but so sweet:) When we got to the restaurant, we just assumed it was to celebrate Claires (one of our students) 16th B-day! Then someone yelled surprise to us...it was shocking but still so fun! For a brief period of time, I was not consumed with the fact that we do not have a baby that only has 2 legs:)
We do love Barker so much and would not trade him for anything! There is nothing sweeter than when he curls up in our lap while we sit on the couch to watch TV. In the morning, he seems to tire pretty quickly. As we are getting ready for work, he will start to whimper letting us know it's time to sit down so he can come cuddle! I know I will love my own child more, but right now, I think about Barker all the time. I worry and hope that he sleeps while we are not there so he does not miss us too much...I wonder if he knows how much we love him...I wonder if he knows that he has filled part of this void that we so often feel!
We have talked more and more about the possibility of adoption. We are not making any hasty decisions though. We will get through the rest of the doc appointments this year, then see where it all takes us. This is a rough and sometimes heartbreaking journey, but I would not want to be on it with anyone other than Ben. I know it was no mistake that God brought us together. Only Ben could handle all of my crazy emotions and crying spells when there seems to be no reason!
Thank you God for this journey. You call us to praise you in our trials so that is what I will do! I know you have the absolute best plan for our lives and I know that our human nature too many times tries to mess it up. Thank you for alwasy reminding us of the ways you have been faithful in the past. It gives us hope for the future!
God bless you all today!
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
typical wednesday
Well, this is my second attempt at a blog, and there is no guarantee I will even figure out how to get back here-ha!
but for now, the title pretty well says it all...today was a typical Wednesday! The day was filled with preparation for tonight's INFUSION service, talking with Ben about (and disagreeing about) many ideas, and lunch thrown in there somewhere.
It was hard getting back into the swing of things. We have spent the past two days at a Super Summer staff retreat. I was so nervous going into it, thinking there would be all of these ladies attending who have known each other for years and would have no reason to want to get to know me. Ben was so understanding to listen to my irrational fears, and pray that God would allow me to make a friend...and I did!!! It is just so funny that God truly listens to our silliest requests.
For Ben and I, our biggest prayer is that God would allow us to get pregnant. We have been trying for a while now, but it has just not been our turn. It has been difficult to see many of our friends at church go through pregnancy together, and in the last 4 months, 3 babies have been born. God is teaching me to be content with where I am, which is not always easy...but God is always faithful!!! He has blessed me with an AMAZING and UNDERSTANDING husband who lets me cry, or complain, or just talk. I love him so much and cannot wait for the day to tell him that God has blessed us even more!
For now, we are enjoying each and every moment we have with just the two of us!
but for now, the title pretty well says it all...today was a typical Wednesday! The day was filled with preparation for tonight's INFUSION service, talking with Ben about (and disagreeing about) many ideas, and lunch thrown in there somewhere.
It was hard getting back into the swing of things. We have spent the past two days at a Super Summer staff retreat. I was so nervous going into it, thinking there would be all of these ladies attending who have known each other for years and would have no reason to want to get to know me. Ben was so understanding to listen to my irrational fears, and pray that God would allow me to make a friend...and I did!!! It is just so funny that God truly listens to our silliest requests.
For Ben and I, our biggest prayer is that God would allow us to get pregnant. We have been trying for a while now, but it has just not been our turn. It has been difficult to see many of our friends at church go through pregnancy together, and in the last 4 months, 3 babies have been born. God is teaching me to be content with where I am, which is not always easy...but God is always faithful!!! He has blessed me with an AMAZING and UNDERSTANDING husband who lets me cry, or complain, or just talk. I love him so much and cannot wait for the day to tell him that God has blessed us even more!
For now, we are enjoying each and every moment we have with just the two of us!
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